The Reincarnation Of Dead Ducks

Whether the ducks were already dead or just environmentally sick was irrelevant to the aim of Québec separation. Most ducks appeared to be ailing, at the least. Some viewed them as a coalmine canary early warning. But the actual state of these ducks was irrelevant to Pierre Elliot Trudeau “Just Society”. The problem would go away if Québécois could be made to “feel at home” throughout Canada in a bilingual multicultural country. Puns aside, the Just Society had the potential of killing two birds in one shot. Firstly, Québécois would be appeased and therefore not separate. Secondly, the FHQs might do better as a by-product. Never mind that Ontarians would unlikely ever feel at home in Alberta, or that FHQs as well as even Québécois were all quite eager to learn English, specially when hors-Québec. The greatest irony is that Québécois political élite was already fully bilingual after their studies in Harvard, Oxford or at the London School of Economics but did not think that the masses could benefit too from additional exposure.

The “Just Society” main result today is that Canada is a more bilingual country now. Québécois are generally thriving, although still not all that “appeased” or feeling at home across Canada. And FHQs assimilation has become a “fact of life”, according to Jean Chrétien. Some unease has prevailed after Meech Lake and the last referendum split outcome, compounded by the recent Bloc vote response to the referendum sponsorship scam.

The political weight of a dead duck
In spite of their politically insignificant numbers, the state of these ducks had once tremendous political weight throughout Canada. In the eyes of Québécois, why would FHQs drop out of the sky if Francophones could “feel at home” everywhere? The feds really had to show that these ducks were really not dying while the sovereinists had to ensure otherwise. It was in everyone’s interest to ensure that no quack would be heard from these ducks in their weakened state. If some ducks were lucky enough to make it, their quacking would have to be linguistically as well as politically most correct. Appropriate ducks spokespeople would be appointed.

Many Québécois felt quite sorry for their cousins, physically moved to the Rest of Canada (ROC) and rose to the challenge of defining and operating the services. They went in with the zeal of evangelizing the “natives” on how a francophone community should operate so that People could really “feel at home”. They took control of the weakened local francophone associations with the support of the Ministre des Affaires Interprovinciales du Québec and Le Bloc keeping the feds under watch. The “need” was therefore identified: Québécois could enter federal service in the ROC and look after their ailing FHQ cousins. Accessing federal services in French provided by these Québécois (or new francophone immigrants) would become a preferred bureaucracy solution. Canada was deemed to be a bilingual country, there was political instability in Québec and there was the Sacred Cow of Bilingualism to be milked.

More dead ducks on the horizon
Understanding the real needs of the FHQ communities was clearly never a priority, especially when there was already a political solution to the problem. Many FHQs however still to this day cannot write properly in French, rarely read it, only occasionally speak it, and are witnessing, unsurprisingly, their children more comfortable with the English language after playing on the back-alley. Listening to French on radio or TV from la Société Radio-Canada (SRC) remains possible but the medias are subsidized, tightly controlled and competing for kids attention against the Internet gazillion channels universe. Accessing federal services in French remains possible, somewhere far down the list of needs. This is translating overall into what the experts describe as bad “intergenerational assimilation” statistics.

The only FHQs nowadays that can regularly still speak, listen, write and read in French originate somehow from the group that came to evangelize. The ones they were supposed to evangelize mostly dropped out and generally frustrated the ones evangelizing. The subsidies have been dwindling and there is “essoufflement” among the fatter ducks. Many brave former Québécois working at the frontline are themselves facing the destiny of the original dead ducks or alternatively a migration back. Note that other Francophones came to the ROC, worked in other sectors and did not necessarily associate or understood what went on.

We should have by now a better understanding of “les services” realistically needed. But there is the old guard experiencing “le sentiment du devoir accompli” and reaching “la pension”. Although the Sacred Cow can still be milked, it is not necessarily easily touched, except by the few lucky in the high level priesthood. Government bureaucracies are difficult to change and most creative at finding new sources of funding among the convoluted maze of unaccountable government organizations. Other issues are getting more attention and survival of the administrators of la francophonie will take priority over those presumably served. Perhaps a new Maillardville will emerge somewhere in the Yukon and finally show the world a model of a successful FHQ utopia. Or the immigration bureaucrats will send new Francophone immigrants in the ROC to resupply ranks and make the numbers look better so that their colleagues can outlive the assimilated. The difficulties of the model of the aboriginal reserve as well as the lessons learnt on delusion and denial thus far temper expectations: more dead ducks are realistically expected.

Why should the ROC care?
If the stench of dead ducks is becoming a fact of life similar to these salmon runs, if the subsidies are dwindling, if the FHQ problem is really isolated in a Québec environment healthier for these ducks, and if the Québécois are not going to separate anymore, has the problem not been solved? Why should the ROC interfere with what first comes across as an internal francophone problem? FHQs appear reluctant in addressing this problem in the first place. The ROC does have to attend more critical problems after all and does not need to add more, especially difficult ones such as reviving dead ducks unsure of themselves. Protection of endangered minorities can only go so far and Canadians have so far survived past mistakes made with its early stakeholder, the First Nations.

First of all, the ROC generally bought into the solution of the Just Society. FHQs are integral members of the ROC and have fully embraced the virtue of bilingualism and multiculturalism to the point of having weakened their original cultural identity in the process. Although they may not be highly visible, FHQs contribute to the ROC in the private and in the public sector, or in the business, cultural, economical and political communities. FHQs are clearly now as overwhelmed by their difficult situation as they were when Québécois first came in to resupply their ranks. The past “feeling at home” solution has not worked and is still causing grief. The FHQs will not be able to solve this strictly on their own until they regain at least some confidence. At this point, they cannot even write in French and they are not willing to discuss their issues in any public space! Neither is there political support or media coverage for their plight. In that light, the FHQ problem is no longer strictly “internal”.

Could it be that the solution that was expected to solve the problem of the FHQs was just like the Mirabelle airport for Montreal transportation needs: some white elephants dreamed up by bureaucrats of the same era totally out of touch with the real needs of People. Mirabelle after causing great disruption was eventually mothballed. The irony here is that Mirabelle was recently used to shoot The Terminal movie where Tom Hanks falls into an immigration procedural hole in an international airport and becomes the victim of a bureaucracy that could not care less about his case.

And what if solving this FHQ problem was actually doable if we took a new stab at it? What if it could improve the outstanding unease in between Canada and Québec? Could not the ROC solve the problem of FHQs without political interference from Québec this time around? What if these weakened ducks could actually speak for themselves when supplied with fresh air and hold some of the elements of the solution?

What can the ROC realistically do ?
Participating more actively in our democracy would represent a first step in the right direction. Expecting to solve important problems through governance proxies without holding them accountable for results must be avoided. For example, improving the situation of First Nations is no longer strictly a matter of the department of Indian Affairs. This is incidentally where our former Prime Minister got his apprenticeship solving social engineering matters prior to issuing fatalistic edicts. Our country has operated through such dysfunctional silos for too long and our current political system seems inadequate to effect necessary changes. So everyone is welcome to take direct interest in what used to be perceived as someone else internal problem.

For instance, your interest in our language as exemplified by the French immersion program is highly appreciated. And your kudos on the excellent content that our cousins in Québec keep contributing. And so is your cheering when we make the effort of expressing ourselves in French even if you may not fully understand us. Although this may sound extremely odd, it is not easy anymore for most FHQs to do so! Keep helping us in these ways by all means. These are however not sufficient.

Similarly to what you are doing in other important sectors such as health and education, you need to ask for accountability from our public officials and their bureaucrats. We, the FHQs, cannot do it, as we do not have any political weight. For instance, ask our public officials how much money has been spent on FHQs, how much has reached the People and how much has been sucked by individual francophone bureaucracies? Ask why can’t most FHQs no longer write or read in French? Why are the assimilation statistics so dismal? What are the proposed remedies? On what basis are you cutting back and centralizing their services? How do you ensure that the bureaucracies provide for the needs of the FHQs? How accountable are they on the services they provide? Where are the checks and balances in the service monopoly being operated? What can the CRTC and the SRC realistically do in their roles of content guardian and last linguistic survival lifeline? How can our national bilingualism policy be revised? What is the part of responsibility of the FHQ communities? Who is really accountable on all of this? But for God’s sake, do not ask for yet another royal commission.

After the recent sponsorship and Canada Post scams, the francophone bureaucracy shows up again as the prime suspect. It would this time hinder a revival of the FHQs. Bureaucracies are well known to block real changes. The Internet comes to mind as an element of the solution and bureaucrats are known to resist new solutions it uncovers. Incidentally, solving a large bureaucracy problem should be useful in many other areas plagued by similar lack of accountability to the People and the alienation this creates. If Canada can solve this problem, it can solve many other ones and remain a beacon of functional multiculturalism to the world.

Dead parrot humour
Many francophonie bureaucrats will argue the case of “dead ducks” similarly to the pet shop owner in the famous Monty Python skit: “the Parrot is not really dead but is just sleeping or listening to the command of its master”. The basic life signs of these ducks are nonetheless worrisome. FHQs have overindulged in English fare for quite some times now and perhaps it is time to offer them that also famous mint. Mon Dieu que t’es fou (translation: what a crazy duck)! :-)