Stephen Colbert's Remarks To U.S. President Bush

Is he really not here tonight? The one guy who could have helped. By the way, before I get started, if anybody needs anything at their tables, speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers and somebody from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail. Mark Smith, ladies and gentlemen of the press corps, Mr. President and first lady, my name is Stephen Colbert and it's my privilege tonight to celebrate this president. He's not so different, he and I. We both get it. We're not brainiacs on the nerd patrol. We're not members of the factinista. We go straight from the gut, right, sir? That's where the truth lies, right down here in the gut. Do you know you have more nerve endings in your gut than you have in your head? You can look it up. I know some of you are going to say, "I did look it up, and that's not true." That's because you looked it up in a book. Next time look it up in your gut. I did. My gut tells me that's how our nervous system works. Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, OK? I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. I call it the No Fact Zone. Fox News, I own the copyright on that term. 'I believe in this president' http://thetyee.ca/Views/2006/05/08/StephenColbertPresidentBush/

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