The Big Oil Leak: The Secret Plan To Beat Hugo Chavez

Chavez, through his sneaky oil company CITGO, has been giving large discounts on heating oil to poor households in the U.S. A slap in our fine oil industry's face! That evil Venezuelan company has committed $3.6 million to nine Bronx initiatives that foster community empowerment and clean-up of the urban environment. Can you see the nasty Chavez conspiracy? is the question W's.B.S. asks our government and the American people. By the winter of 2006-2007, Chavez's program doubled, delivering 100 million gallons to 1.2 million poor Americans, from Alaskan natives to Vermont citizens. CITGO expects to supply 110 million gallons to America's poor this winter. Isn't that awful? It's just to embarrass the superrich U.S. oil companies that receive meritorious subsidies while faithfully accepting Americans' financial sacrifice at the pump and concurrently refusing to pay abusive oil royalties owed to the American people who never lifted a finger to earn them. According to W's.B.S., President Chavez is a terrible blackmailer! Imagine sharing Venezuela's oil wealth with his poor and spoiling our own people with unwanted welfare, which keeps our own poor from learning how to pull themselves up by their bootstraps in the dead of winter. Nevermind! Here is how W's.B.S proposes to fix this evil do-gooder Chavez. Politicos and big oil at W's.B.S. meeting agreed that this is outrageous. Chavez' generosity is only propaganda and peanuts thrown to "useless eaters," as Kissinger called the world's poor. "Operation Crush Chavez," with full approval from big oil, a bribed Congress, and the White House, will generously give 50 time as much, not just to a few peripheral low class neighborhoods, but to every state in the union. Get it?!!! When the American people discover that their own great oil companies are much more generous than Chavez and his socialist love-of-the-people nonsense, Chavez' popularity will sink and he'll learn a lesson in humility. Since he's putting his money where his mouth is, we'll outdo him 50 to 1! According to W's.B.S., CITGO's nasty commie executives have been visiting needy people in the Bronx more often than any American corporate donor. How stupid can our business community be? We have to outdo these radicals. The commies have been asking community groups what kind of grants are needed, and based on what people wanted, awarded one for a child care cooperative that helps working mothers make a living. And the nerve of the nasty do-gooder and his Pollyanna socialists to celebrate the completion of the cooperative with locals over Venezuelan food — arepas and carne mechada — and Latin American music! "We'll show them towel-head lovers," said W's.B.S.'s Chair, "that U.S. companies can do better than that. Our oil corporations will quadruple that celebration with millions of healthy MacBurgers, hotdogs, and Cokes, not just in the Bronx, but in every poor neighborhood in America and at every gas station. And we'll double it in Venezuela as well, to take the battle for hearts and minds to Chavez' shores, just as we did in Iraq. That'll embarrass Chavez and turn him green with envy. We know all kids love fast food, which is excellent for their health according to Chamber of Nonsense & Research financed by the fast food industries." CITGO's winter oil program for the American people cost a paultry $80 million, which is about the same amount that America's largest publicly traded oil companies — with roughly 10 times the revenue — spent on charity in the United States in 2006. How inconveniently embarrassing. The Chair concluded: "We can do better for the American people because we have the means to counterattack Chavez once we decide to dip in our own deeper pockets." ... & it goes on & on: http://www.venezuelanalysis.com/analysis/2862

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