President Bush Resume

Posted on Thursday, January 08 at 13:28 by Jim Callaghan
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history. With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week. I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury. I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history. I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period. I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month. I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her. I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President. I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron. My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision. I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history. I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts. I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history. I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government. I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history. I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission. I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law. I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention. I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election). I set the record for fewest number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television. I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history. I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history. I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind. I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community. I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war time. In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends. I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security. I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD. I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view. All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.
PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY VOTER YOU KNOW

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Comments

  1. Fri Jan 09, 2004 10:02 pm
    And the scary part is he'll probabally get re-elected, instead of 'sentenced' like this time.<p> <p>---<br>"History does not repeat itself, but it does rhyme" Mark Twain

  2. by N Say
    Fri Jan 09, 2004 10:08 pm
    Whoa! Carefule with that resume, it\'s an antique! lol I saw it (or something like it) here long ago:
    http://www.buzzflash.com/contributors/0 ... esume.html

    ---
    "So many right-wing Christians, so few lions." - t-shirt I saw @ school

  3. Fri Jan 09, 2004 10:12 pm
    Yeah, but people need reminding in the run-up to a U.S. election.

  4. Fri Jan 09, 2004 11:16 pm
    It\'s amazing how eloquent Kucinich, Clark, Dean, and even Jon Kerry & Co. have been about NAFTA, corporate-cronies, and unfiar tax-burden for middle-classers, etc....Have they always been this eloquent, and are they really so full of it? Surely we can\'t expect anything to come of this.

    And where the hell were these guys when Bush cancelled 9-11 inquiries?!! ANd went to war???

  5. Sat Jan 10, 2004 12:16 am
    I\'m not sure just what anonymous is referring to regarding Dennis Kucinich, he is on record as abrogating NAFTA, cutting the Pentagon budget by 15%, calling the troops back from Iraq within 3 or 4 months, cancelling all American rebuilding contracts, and bringing in the UN Big Time.

    These are not to joke about. I think they are good propositions.

    Unfortunately, Kucinich is in a low position as far as the top 5 goes.

    That is a shame !! He\'s got the right ideas !




    ---
    "Arrogance in Politics is unacceptable"
    Jim Callaghan
    Minden, Ontario
    705-286-1860
    www.misterc.ca

  6. Sat Jan 10, 2004 12:22 am
    Yeah, it`s amazing how people do have a short memory come election time! But then again, there`s a good chance they`ll find a way to fix the 2004 election too! Maybe a convenient terrorist attack to try to justify him staying in office, because, after all, there`s a war!

    ---
    Dave Ruston

  7. Sat Jan 10, 2004 12:55 am
    That\'s my point, the other candidates have MORPHED into KUCINICH, WHO I LOVE! Even John kerry is saying the same old crap Democrats always use, challenging republicans passionately, even controversially, then backing away if elected. John Kerry isn\'t exactly a centre-left democrat. And Lieberman!!! HE even talked of the unfiar tax system on the NewsHour, on PBS. Heh.

  8. by N Say
    Sat Jan 10, 2004 1:13 am
    If I were president, on the first day I\'d cut military spending budget by 90% since they spend the equivalent of something ridiculous like $20,000 every hour since Christ was born. On the second day I\'d sincerely apologize to the hundreds of millions (billions?) of people whose lives have been negatively affected by American imperialism. On the third day I\'d immediately start to pay reparations to the countries & economies destroyed by American bombing hysteria & imperialism. Then on the fourth day I\'d be assassinated. lol :D

    ---
    "So many right-wing Christians, so few lions." - t-shirt I saw @ school

  9. Sat Jan 10, 2004 5:10 am
    Don\'t count it out.



    ---
    "Arrogance in Politics is unacceptable"
    Jim Callaghan
    Minden, Ontario
    705-286-1860
    www.misterc.ca

  10. Sat Jan 10, 2004 8:57 am
    That made me laugh N Say. You started to sound rather biblical with the creation of the world story. I want nothing more than for Kucinich to win. It would be like a coup against the poised-to-kiss-U.S.neocon-butt Martin government. Kucinich would give me what I want from my Prime Minister. Cancel NAFTA! Yeah!

    4Canada and Kucinich

  11. Sat Jan 10, 2004 6:26 pm
    Bush knowing he is vulnerable has wheeled out his ace in the hole (until election time when it will be Osama) - a proposed return to the moon.

    What is better to get votes and attention than wrapping yourself in patriotic ferver with the announcement to go back to the moon? That move alone will get him enough votes to put him over the top.

    Sadly, we are in for another Bush term with Martin lining himself up for the same. It will be the end of N.America as we know it and the start of a corporate run episode of 1984.

    Roy

  12. by N Say
    Sat Jan 10, 2004 7:30 pm
    Out of the bunch of moderate Republicans (aka \"Democrats\") I think Kucinich is my man. Maybe I was a bit more extreme than he is.

    ---
    "So many right-wing Christians, so few lions." - t-shirt I saw @ school

  13. Sat Jan 10, 2004 9:28 pm
    You are right on the button. Never before have so few done so much harm to so many. It\'s all in the name of the Almighty God!!
    W

  14. Sun Jan 11, 2004 6:25 am
    I have always made the comparison that a born-again Christian is on par with a person who has quit smoking.

    They are very hard to live with !!



    ---
    "Arrogance in Politics is unacceptable"
    Jim Callaghan
    Minden, Ontario
    705-286-1860
    www.misterc.ca



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