When The 'Yes Men' Strike - Beware!

"Without oil, at least four billion people would starve," one of the speakers earnestly told the crowd. "This spiral of trouble would make the oil infrastructure utterly useless. "And starving would become the new black." When the speaker started to talk about vivolium - a renewable energy source nobody in the room had ever heard of - the red flags started to go up. But once the pair lit up two torch-like candles and urged the audience to do the same in memory of a dead Exxon oil worker, attendees and organizers realized they'd been had. http://www.canada.com/topics/news/oddities/story.html?id=8b0cae97-8975-4236-ba4d-e50b30e06cd4&k=56697 After noting that current energy policies will likely lead to "huge global calamities" and disrupt oil supplies, Wolff told the audience "that in the worst case scenario, the oil industry could "keep fuel flowing" by transforming the billions of people who die into oil," said a Yes Men press release. Yes Man Mike Bonnano, posing as an Exxon representative named Florian Osenberg, added that "With more fossil fuels comes a greater chance of disaster, but that means more feedstock for Vivoleum. Fuel will continue to flow for those of us left." The impostors led growingly suspicious attendees in lighting Vivoleum candles made, they said, from a former Exxon janitor who died from cleaning a toxic spill. When shown a mock video of the janitor professing his desire to be turned in death into candles, a conference organizer pulled Bonanno and Bichlbaum from the stage. As security guards led Bonanno from the room, Bichlbaum told reporters that "Without oil we could no longer produce or transport food, and most of humanity would starve. That would be a tragedy, but at least all those bodies could be turned into fuel for the rest of us." Noting that "150,000 people already die from climate-change related effects every year," he added, "That's only going to go up - maybe way, way up. Will it all go to waste? That would be cruel." http://blog.wired.com/wiredscience/2007/06/yes_men_strike_.html http://consumerist.com/consumer/oil-&-gas/yes-men-solve-the-climate-crisis-soylent-green-269213.php [Proofreader's note: this article was edited for spelling and typos on June 18, 2007]

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