Let Me Tell You About Canada. No, Really, It's Very Interesting

Posted on Tuesday, January 10 at 09:40 by Anonymous
But here's a story that I know to be true. Flying to Vancouver with his wife for a Commonwealth conference, the late Sir Denis Thatcher drifted down the plane to hobnob with the press. Standing in the aisle, a generous gin and tonic in hand, and looking out over the prairie below, the First Husband turned to the hacks and pronounced: "Y'know what Canada is? Canada is full of fuck all." Needless to say, no one reported a word. Canadians have to live with this sort of thing all the time, especially from the British and the Americans. When I worked in Washington, American friends expressed surprise when we went to Canada for a holiday. Americans, you quickly realise, don't go to Canada in much the same way that the British don't go to Ireland. And they have the same tin ear for their less powerful neighbour too. I don't know why we don't just annex Canada, said our neighbour when I asked her to feed the cat while we were away. She wasn't joking either. But we Brits are no better. Here is Canada, indisputably an important nation, a big economic player, a foundation member of the G8, its political system closely modelled on ours, grappling with its own special relationship with the US and its own multicultural issues, a major force in world peacekeeping, and a country where they (mostly) speak English. Yet how much do you ever read about what's happening in Canada? How much are you ever told? What is the name of Canada's prime minister? This Canadian general election is interesting. We need to know about it. Not just because there is likely to be a change of government in a major country, but because the trajectory of recent Canadian politics has strong echoes for Britain. There are some good colourful aspects to the Canadian election too. For one thing, it is taking place in the midst of a Canadian winter, and Canadian winters aren't funny. Prime ministers who call midwinter elections in Britain tend to lose - Gladstone in 1874, Heath a century later - and that looks increasingly like Martin's fate too. That's one reason why the would-be successors are gathering, including the writer and TV commentator Michael Ignatieff, who is running for parliament explicitly to offer himself as Martin's replacement. Do I make myself clear? I'd say that these are events worth a few minutes of any serious person's attention. But even if our press is not paying much heed to what's happening there this month, it's a fair bet that for our political parties Canada has for once become a page turner. http://politics.guardian.co.uk/conservatives/story/0,9061,1681146,00.html martin.kettle@guardian.co.uk [Proofreader's note: this article was edited for spelling and typos on January 11, 2006]

Note: http://politics.guardia...

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  1. Tue Jan 10, 2006 9:22 pm
    Well said, Martin Kettle! Thank you!

    I've noticed -- when watching a weather forecast on BBC News --
    the weather stops at the 49th parallel ... lots of weather happens in
    the U.S.A., and apparently no weather at all happens in Canada.

    It's like that little map-of-the-imagination of British Columbia, in
    which the Vancouverite sees Highway 97 fading to nothing, after it
    reaches Hope; with uninhabited wasteland beyond.

    It's like the BMW a relative bought in the U.S.A., and drove to
    Canada. It had a GPS on board which he found extremely helpful
    in guiding him effortlessly wherever he wanted to drive ... until he
    crossed the border into Canada ... and the screen went blank.

    But I say: Rejoice! Let it be our perfect little secret.

  2. Tue Jan 10, 2006 10:13 pm
    >>>and apparently no weather at all happens in Canada. <<<

    This just in...Its cold!

    >>>... until he
    crossed the border into Canada ... and the screen went blank.<<

    The dealers have software to fix that. (They will probably just hand him a map though, and charge him 75 bucks for it.)

  3. by Justme
    Wed Jan 11, 2006 5:11 am
    the right honorable justme posted this anonymously.

  4. Wed Jan 11, 2006 10:57 am
    The reason why the GPS stops (if that is true) functioning is because Canada may not have digitally coordinted it's roads and highways so that the GPS is able to read the signal.

    It does sound strange though as I have been to many countries, and they all seem to have functioning GPS. However, it is up to the respective countries to properly map and coordinate their road systems.

    By the way, all of those satellites were developed and deployed by those EVIL AMERICANS as part of their master plan to enslave the world (starting with Canada!).

    Uncle Sugar

  5. Wed Jan 11, 2006 4:59 pm
    Canada and Australia are the richest countries on Earth by all standards and calculations, including the World Bank, and one day Canadians and Australians may just wake up, realize this simple fact and start kicking out the carpetbaggers stealing them blind.

    Then what will those hot air empire builders do with their imaginary, worthless capital ?

    Ed Deak, Big Lake, BC.

  6. Wed Jan 11, 2006 7:32 pm
    Hello Anonymous Wed. Surely if all the GPS units in Canada
    were working (and they were), my friend's GPS ought to have been
    working too, when he travelled from south to north.

    Besides, before trying to make this into an anti-U.S. comment (and
    it was not), this was a British story about Canada. If you have
    traveled anywhere overseas, you'll quickly recognize the truth of
    what the author is saying.

  7. Wed Jan 11, 2006 11:08 pm
    I'm not understanding just what we're to take notice of in Canada.

    Do something. We'll pay attention. Just living your lives (and well I will add,) isn't significant to anyone but yourselves.

    And further, many negative stories about Canada, such as your horrendous (read: worse than the US,) environmental record and complicity in genocide in the Sudan, go almost completely unreported as well.

    Perhaps this is a case of being careful of what you wish for?

  8. Thu Jan 12, 2006 2:55 am
    have you taken your meds? how do you develop your grandiouse theories?

  9. Thu Jan 12, 2006 5:10 pm
    In notice that the proofreader eliminated the penultimate paragraph of the article in The Guardian. May I ask why?

  10. Thu Jan 12, 2006 5:12 pm
    To my knowledge, Highway 97 does not go to Hope. Check your geography.

  11. Thu Jan 12, 2006 5:14 pm
    Maybe the GPS system in the US was in "U.S. Customary Units" and not in metric.

    Remember there are only three non-metric countries in the whole world: Liberia, Myanmar and the USA.

  12. Thu Jan 12, 2006 5:23 pm
    You're correct on our horrendous environmental record, but the same applies to any country on the "wealth creation" path with resource based industries. I live in the midst of it and can see it all around me, much of it caused by multinational corporations, licenced by various levels of Canadian governments.

    I repeat : "Wealth can no be created, only taken from other sectors, the environment and the future". "The sale of resources is not an income". "Costs can not be cut, only transferred on other sectors, the environment, or the future"

    All forms of life depend on resource conversion for every second of their lifespan. All economic activities are based on resource conversion, therefore all are "takings" and not "earnings", that cause equal reactions in the forms of depletion, waste and pollution . Therefore, there's no such thing as "win-win" in economics, only "win = lose, or pay"

    Environmental destruction is the payment for "wealth creation".

    As long as we subscribe to economic theories that take no notice of physical realities, this destruction will carry on until the ecology gets fed up with the human race and destroys it.

    Now, some nutcase will come out of the woodwork, accusing me of being a Luddite, which, if one studies the real intents of the Luddite movement, instead of the presently used distorted version, could be called a praise.

    However, I like my comforts, tools and equipment and have spent my lifetime in industrial management and agriculture, therefore I know that processes can be developed to reach beneficial objectives with the least environmental destruction. There will always be certain environmental destruction, these are inevitable, but if they are kept to the minimum, the natural ecological balancing and recovery systems will minimize the damage.

    The problem are the false economic theories taught in our universities, the private control of the money creation process for the benefit of a ruling class, and the
    sector that thrives for its "wealth creation" schemes on inevitable environmental destruction, which is the most profitable commodity.

    Until these problems are solved, we're just dancing around an open grave.

    Ed Deak, Big Lake, BC.

  13. Thu Jan 12, 2006 8:43 pm
    A) So people will open the link for the rest of the story. Which is why no re-published article is without a link.

    b) We are limited as to how much of an article we can reproduce and still have it count as 'fair use' vs 'copyright infringenment'. The rest of the article would have been too long, and the good stuff made no sense without the pre-amble.


    ---
    "If you must kill a man, it costs you nothing to be polite about it." Winston Churchill



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