Top Ten Reasons Canada Won’T Get No Satisfaction On Softwood Lumber

6. Bush is under pressure from his conservative supporters to curtail his spendthrift ways. To pay this money to Canada would really piss them off. 5. The Liberals are afraid that if they push too hard, G. W. Bush will pull the villainous John Bolton (Bush’s pit bull whose mission is to destroy the UN) out of his UN ambassadorship and appoint him as ambassador to Canada. 4. The Liberals are afraid Paul Cellucci will lead a brigade of the Massachusetts National Guard up the Ottawa Valley and declare Canada null and void. 3. The Liberals are afraid of their own shadow. 2. The Bush administration has, from day one, shown a wanton and completely self-serving disregard for international treaties and the rule of law. Defying the NAFTA ruling is only the most recent example. 1. And the number one reason: Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice says US word on trade is “as good as gold.” If this is so she should have brought her cheque book. This is the same lady who lied so profusely and habitually about the war on Iraq. Sorry my lady, ‘tis but fools gold! [Proofreader's note: this article was edited for spelling and typos on October 27, 2005]