Paddy's Doin' It Again!

In the morning, Paddy woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Brigit staring at him from across the room. She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you Paddy?" Paddy said, "Why would you say such a mean thing?" "Well," Brigid said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly...... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror."