THE VIBRATOR:

To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said: "dad i'm thirty-five, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as i'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone." A few days later, mom came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the living room. She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, downing a cold beer, and staring at the tv. The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy. The wife asked: "what in the world are you doing?" The husband replied: "i'm watching football with my son-in-law."