They Walk Among Us.........

Posted on Tuesday, January 09 at 09:06 by RPW
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff." They Walk Among Us I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific.." They Walk Among Us My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving". They Walk Among Us My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk... They Walk Among Us My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount on both... They Walk Among Us I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"... They Walk Among Us While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces... Yep, THEY Walk Among Us They DO walk among us, AND reproduce! AND just think, they may have even voted..........

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  1. Tue Jan 09, 2007 8:17 pm
    Thanks for the laughs
    Much needed too

    ---
    [juris ignorantia est cum jus nostrum ignoramus]

    it is ignorance of the law when we do not know our own rights"

    lex ferenda

  2. Tue Jan 09, 2007 10:18 pm
    We need more JackAss movies, in order to persuade them to exit the gene pool permanently, and thus earn a posthumous Darwin Award.

    ---
    “The war is not meant to be won, it is meant to be continuous, the essential act of warfare is the destruction of the produce of human labour”

  3. Tue Jan 09, 2007 11:29 pm
    Hey Sarge ya coulda , ya know <br />
    <br />
    <a href="http://www.darwinawards.com/">http://www.darwinawards.com/</a><p>---<br> [juris ignorantia est cum jus nostrum ignoramus]<br />
    <br />
    it is ignorance of the law when we do not know our own rights" <br />
    <br />
    lex ferenda

  4. by Wraun
    Wed Jan 10, 2007 3:12 am
    The one about the pizza is an old joke. I once asked a waitress to have my pizza cut into 4 slices rather than the standard 8 and said that I wouldn't be able to eat 8 slices and oblivious to the joke, she replied... "well you could save 4 slices for tomorrow".

    The do walk among us

    ---
    Everybody got to deviate from the norm

  5. Wed Jan 10, 2007 3:35 am
    critical listening, the use or missuse of language, magicaly shape reality in that moment reality happens. Dio (c)

    ---
    [juris ignorantia est cum jus nostrum ignoramus]

    it is ignorance of the law when we do not know our own rights"

    lex ferenda

  6. by Wraun
    Wed Jan 10, 2007 2:29 pm
    okay so my wife & I are in a bar for lunch with friends and my wife orders a "drambui & tea". The waitress returns a few minutes later and says "I'm sorry ma'am, we don't have drambui & tea, we only have the regular columbian kind".

    She crawls among us

    ---
    Everybody got to deviate from the norm

  7. Wed Jan 10, 2007 7:11 pm
    My favorite is the guy who launched himself like an MX missile out of a culvert after trying to light gas he had dumped in there. The comment about how his friends observed the 'doppler effect' from his screams as he passed overhead still makes me chuckle.

    ---
    “The war is not meant to be won, it is meant to be continuous, the essential act of warfare is the destruction of the produce of human labour”

  8. Wed Jan 10, 2007 7:38 pm
    That is a funny mental picture (AAAAAAaaa a a a a a a a a a a!), but I still like the car bombers who blew up an hour early, because they wouldn't set their timer to 'Zionist' daylight savings time.


    ---
    "I think it's important to always carry enough technology to restart civilization, should it be necessary." Mark Tilden

  9. by chall
    Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:07 pm
    "I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center..."

    I happen to work in the job ghetto called the call center industry, taking hotel reservations. Travel agents call all the time...

    Travel Agent: (annoyed) I need help with a reservation I made through my computer.
    Me: I have a toll-free number for our travel agent helpdesk who can handle this for you. Would you like me to give the number to you?
    TA: (more annoyed) Whats that?
    Me: (pause) Its a toll-free phone number for our helpdesk for travel agents. Would you like me to give it to you?
    TA: (totally annoyed) But I AM a travel agent! (hangs up violently)

    Yes, they indeed do walk among us. And theyre handling your travel plans.



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