George Carlin's New Rules For 2006

Posted on Sunday, February 26 at 12:05 by Diogenes
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards. New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man , they're pictures of men. New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done. New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.


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  1. Mon Feb 27, 2006 10:28 am
    Those are funny.

    "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." Friedrich Nietzsche

  2. Tue Feb 28, 2006 3:31 am
    Gotta love George :)

    These days, if you are not confused, you are not thinking clearly. Mrs. Irene Peters

  3. Fri Mar 24, 2006 9:40 pm
    The finger in the chili was a hoax. The woman got ahold of a severed finger from her boyfriend's co-worker, who lost it in an accident at work. They put the finger in the chili in hopes of winning a multi-million dollar settlement. Instead she got jail time.

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