[This turns out to be ONLY a joke. For more info, see the Snopes page about it. The last time I saw it, it was the USS Missouri, alone, off the coast of Labrador. -JvH]
This is the transcription of the ACTUAL radio conversation between the Americans and the Canadians off the coast of Alaska, October 1998.
Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-98.
CANADIANS: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.
CANADIANS: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
AMERICANS: This is the Captain of a US Naval Ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
CANADIANS: Negative. I say again, you will have to divert YOUR course.
AMERICANS: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE US PACIFIC FLEET! WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. I SAY AGAIN, THAT IS 15 DEGREES NORTH OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
CANADIANS: We are a lighthouse................Your Call.